Noteworthy

It is unfortunate that kids long to be grown-ups and grown-ups wish they were still young.  In eight days, I turn 21.  I was super excited about my birthday until I realized a couple of different things it means.  The main thing: I am a grown up.

I need a new primary care physician because I am still going to my pediatrician.
The one time a year I do get to be a kid is now the time of year I worry most about money.  I love buying gifts for loved ones, but I feel like I should have been saving for Christmas all year, or at least since Halloween.
Childhood traditions that feel like going home for my soul are too juvenile for me now.
I have places to be always, responsibilities that take daily effort, decisions to make.
I have to schedule my own appointments, make things happen for myself, get things done or they won't get done.
My to-do list has items added much more often than crossed off.
Money is no longer this magical thing without meaning that Mommy gives me.  It is the background worry, the dark cloud overhead.
Free time doesn't come free anymore.  It is time I have to choose to turn everything else off.  I don't get free time when everything else is done because I feel like from here on out everything else will never be done.
Difficult decisions come around more often and have a harsher impact on my life.

Next Tuesday, even though I may still, every now and then, make childish decisions or have a toddler/teenager attitude (they are remarkably similar, aren't they?), I will have completed the transition between child and adult.  This makes me think of the time Jesus demands child-like faith from his disciples in Matthew 18.

 ¹ At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

 ² He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. ³ And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴ Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ⁵ And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

It is easy to have faith like a child when in many ways we are still children.  I have put immense faith in my parents to take care of me, much of the time without giving it a second thought.  I believe what trustworthy sources tell me about how the world works without having to prove it true on my own accord.  When things go wrong, I want to run to my daddy's arms because his presence in the situation already makes me feel better about it.  

Adults don't do those things.  I look at my list above about adult things that are stressing me out today.  No wonder it is harder for adults to be filled with child-like faith.  But even though today I hate the idea of being an actual adult, it makes me less stressed thinking that I still get to be a spiritual child.  I can look at that list and have faith that God will take care of me through these shifts in life.  God will not change even if everything else does.  I can believe what He says about how the world works.  I can believe that I am who He says I am.  I can run to His arms and cling to the fact that He is present.  I can rest in His peace, knowing that His love remains.  I can lean on Him for strength when the responsibilities weigh heavy and the lists are long and the decisions are difficult.  

God, you are my strength and my song, and in my life I want to dance to that song like a child who doesn't care how many other children or adults are watching.  Replace my worry with peace and my stress with joy.  Help me find the balance between having to be an adult and getting to rest in you like a child.